LOVE SONGS

October 28, 2018

Part 4 - Conflict


To participate in sex outside of marriage is to cheapen it and ruin your relationship.

Song of Songs 5:2-8NIV

2 I slept but my heart was awake.Listen! My beloved is knocking:“Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one.My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” 3 I have taken off my robe—must I put it on again?I have washed my feet—must I soil them again? 4 My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. 5 I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. 6 I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had left; he was gone.My heart sank at his departure.I looked for him but did not find him.I called him but he did not answer. 7 The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city.They beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak, those watchmen of the walls! 8 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—if you find my beloved, what will you tell him?Tell him I am faint with love.

Steps to Dealing with Conflict

1. Pause

Exodus 23:4NIV

4 “If you come across your enemy’s ox or donkey wandering off, be sure to return it.

1 Peter 2:23NIV

23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

1 Peter 3:7NIV

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

When wives become too important, men will overreact to keep them in their control.

Angercriticism and manipulation don't change people – it pushes them further away.

You are not called to change your spouse; you are called to obey God.

Romans 12:21NIV

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Forgive as God has forgiven you.

Respond – don't react.

When you love your spouse when they are unlovable, you ask God to enter into the relationship.

When we don't take offense or strike back, we leave that person in the hands of God for Him to correct them.

1 Peter 3:7NIV

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

God holds you responsible for the spiritual climate of your house.

Steps to Dealing with Conflict

1. Pause

2. Forgive

The longer you wait to forgive, the more room you give the enemy to take over your marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:5NIV

5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

covenant is more than a promise; it's a life – for better or worse.

When you live together, [before marriage] you are training for divorce.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8NIV

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Ecclesiastes 4:12NIV

12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Steps to Dealing with Conflict

1. Pause

2. Forgive

3. Be gentle

When God reconciled you, He didn't just make you okay; He made you a son or daughter.

Conflict was designed to bring you close to the Lord and close to one another.