Read: “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Proverbs 12:15
There’s a particular kind of dating that seems to stem from a sincere place, but can quickly lead to disappointment and heartache; it’s called “missionary dating.” You’ve seen this kind of relationship before. It seems troubled from the outside, but one person is convinced that they can change the other, if just given enough time. The thing is, these relationships don’t get better - they almost always get worse.
In the beginning of a relationship, we’re all trying to put our best self forward, trying to keep all of our darker secrets hidden away. As we become more comfortable in the relationship, our real, authentic selves are revealed. So if someone’s character doesn’t contain the Christ-like standards we talked about last week, we will never be the ones to change them - only Christ can do that. We can pray for God to do a miraculous work in their life, but it’s not our job to force them down the path of change. Like we looked at earlier in the week, someone is ready for a relationship when they’re ready to put Christ in the center. If they’re not there yet, it’s time to step away from the relationship.
So when your Christian friends and family warn you that the relationship you’re headed into might need a bit more thinking through, take time to listen. They’re almost certainly not giving advice out of some dark desire to see you remain single forever. God places people in our lives to speak truth into our blind spots. They’re good at spotting warning signs that we either can’t, or refuse, to see. Are you listening to wise advice, or are you trying to tune it out because it’s not what you want to hear?
Pray: God, give me wisdom in my relationship. If I am trying to missionary date in any way, give me the strength to step back and let you do the work I am trying to do. Give me the grace to listen to the people in my life that are trying to give me wise, godly advice. In Jesus’ name, Amen.