Reading Plan:
Genesis 3
Between Gardens Author: Nikki Payton
His note said, “I’m leaving. There’s someone else.” It started in red ink. He scratched concentric circles in the corner before finishing the note with a blue pen. When the blue ink ran out, the letter ended. There was no time to search for a third pen. He wanted it done, us done, and this whole business of leaving his wife and his 7-month-old child behind him—done. Neat, easy, and convenient. The stained paper was discarded junk mail retrieved from the trash. Despite his status as an ordained minister, I didn’t deserve an in-person discussion nor a complete letter with clean paper and good ink.When I read the words, I was crushed to dust, devastated, and filled with so many “why me?” questions. I’d been a good and decent person all my life. I’d never done drugs, been an immoral woman, or to my knowledge, hurt anyone. All I asked of God was to have my own home, a husband who would love and provide for me, and a child who would have two parents. Rent was due soon, and I didn’t even have a hundred dollars in the bank. I was facing homelessness on top of everything. My son could be another statistic - among the troubled and fatherless, wandering aimlessly and falling repeatedly into bad choices. Neither of us asked for this. For the next five years, my life was filled with crippling depression, suicidal ideations, anxiety, and living in a void seemingly without God. Perhaps my story isn’t anything like what you have experienced, but the emotions are the same. Feelings of suffering, betrayal, disappointment, devastation, loss, death of a relationship or marriage, worthlessness, failure, inability to trust, or even the feeling that God has forsaken you. Our stories may be different, but we've all experienced those emotions and the damage is real. Why? Why is it that we, as believers, experience such incredible suffering? Lysa TerKeurst’sIt’s Not Supposed to Be This Way offers an interesting answer - we are living between two gardens. Human suffering is the result of living between the garden lost by our first parents in Eden (Genesis 3) and the garden that is to come (Revelation 22). The source of our disappointments and suffering lies somewhere between the enemy, the imperfection encoded in our DNA, and choosing poorly from the free will gifted to us by God. For Eve, her first mistake was to allow herself to be alone with someone who was questioning God. When the enemy can isolate us, he can and will influence us. Community is a powerful protection. Roman soldiers who prepare for battle would form what was called their “turtle formation.” They would lock arms with the weakest soldier in the center and the strongest on the front lines. They would have their shields around the outer square and above them to guard airborne ammunition on all sides. We cannot stray from the protection that biblical community affords us. Jesus, even though He was perfect, was still human, and He shows us how to wrestle well with the enemy and the complexities of being human. The most outstanding example of Jesus wrestling well between gardens is in the Garden of Gethsemane at the foothills of Mt. Olives (Luke 22:39–40). Jesus retreats to the Garden to prepare for the greatest challenge in history - to bear the weight of humankind’s sin stretching back to the lost Eden. There, He experiences such agony that His sweat turns to blood. I know many of us have experienced such pain that we have broken into sweat and tears. Jesus presents Himself and His agony to His Father. Complete surrender and trust is the key to living between two gardens, the garden promised to us in Revelation. In the beginning, I mentioned that I was “crushed to dust.” At some point, I know your pain has left you feeling reduced to nothing. The beauty of “dust” is that God loves the stuff. He created Adam from dust and made him beautiful, gave him purposeful work, and gave him the future of eternity with Him in Paradise. God is completely able to take your dust and create something new and beautiful. Trust the Potter’s hands (Jeremiah 18:1-23). To complete my earlier narrative, I survived the five-year season of darkness. Even in that difficult period of suffering, I can see the collateral beauty of God’s love preparing me for the life and ministry I have now. This devotional would not exist if not for that experience. God placed people in my path to help me. I found trust and love again. My son found a father who loves and provides for him, and gratefully, he is not a statistic, but soon to be a college graduate with so much hope for his future.
Reflection & Response:
• How would you walk through suffering differently if you processed all your disappointments through the filter that God is still a good God, full of mercy and love for you?
• Choose three words to describe this new perspective (trust, hope, or forgiveness), and which parts of your life would most benefit from applying that perspective (work, church, family)?
• How can you wrestle well in between the two gardens as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane?
Father, we choose you, even in the most difficult parts of our stories. We choose to trust that you are still our living God, acting behind the scenes on our behalf. Just because we can see all that you are doing doesn’t mean you are doing nothing. Forgive us when we blame You or others for our hurt. Heal our faithless and mistrustful hearts until we will one day see You in Your full glory in heaven. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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