Reading Plan:
Ephesians 6


Our Thoughts:
The majority of our week together in these Daily Devos will be spent in Philippians, where we will discuss how to choose joy in the midst of difficult circumstances.

But today, as we read Ephesians 6, we have an opportunity to pause and reflect on one of the most rewarding, and simultaneously challenging journeys in life: parenting.

My wife, Lauren, and I have one daughter, Henley Grace, who at the time of this writing is three years old and going on thirteen by the way she acts. Trust me, that curly red hair is every bit as fiery as her personality. She is strong and passionate, and I absolutely love it.

But you know, the longer I parent, the more I realize I know absolutely nothing about parenting. I could not write a book about it. Though I have what I consider to be some of the best mentors for parenting in the world, I struggle to write this Daily Devo entry.

But here is something that I have learned: the problem with parenting is we don’t parent from what we know. We parent from who we are. No matter what or how much we teach and train our children, the bigger reality and principle of parenting is that whatever is in us is what we pass on to our children: the good, the bad, and yes—the ugly. It passes to them in a million ways over which we have no control.

The same thing happened between us and our parents. Parenting is a multi-generational enterprise whose challenges are only exceeded by its complexities. Like it or not, everyone parents (to one degree or another) the way they were parented. Because all parents carry forward both the blessings and the brokenness of their own parents, who carried forward the brokenness of their parents, we are guaranteed to pass forward both the blessings and brokenness of the way we were parented.

But what if I told you it didn’t have to be this way?

Because of Jesus’ life, death, resurrection, and reign, a new way of redemptive parenting has opened up that can set us free from the broken patterns of the past. We can’t become perfect parents, but we can become parents of extraordinary grace.

It begins by making the conscious choice to heed the fourth commandment (and first connected with a promise). This commandment was so important that Paul decided to include it in his letter to the Ephesians.

“Honor your father and mother…”

“But,” you say, “my parents dishonored me, so why should I honor them? They did not parent in a way worthy of honor.” The decision to honor your parents is not about them, but you. It’s not about their worthiness but your obedience. Why?

“…so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Just as honoring one’s parents is about you, so does the outcome accrue to you. The opposite must also be true. We could expect our failure to honor our parents to result in it neither going well for us nor enjoying long life on the earth.

So why are we focusing so much on parents when the text is aimed at children? Note how the text also addresses parenting.

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

So often, quiet anger churns within parents against their own parents and the way they were parented. It results in the resolve to do it differently, which so often leads to the pendulum swinging in the opposite direction, creating an opposite, if not an equal, error. Rather than an exercise in child-rearing, it becomes a misdirected expression of parental retaliation. Children caught in this crossfire grow up in a culture of anxiety and anger somewhere between exasperation and exhaustion.

So, what’s a parent to do? Forgive your own parents. They did their best, but they too were carrying the burdens of the broken generations before them. Forgiveness breaks the cycle of intergenerational sin, preparing the way for brokenness to become blessedness. Only Jesus can heal our wounds.

When we sow forgiveness into the generation before us, we reap grace in the generation behind us. Extraordinary parents are made at the Cross. And the good news—it’s never too late to become one.


More Questions:
• How do you understand the nature of the promise that is connected to honoring one’s parents?
• Have you carried brokenness and bitterness toward your parents? How has this impacted your own parenting and children?
• What unfinished business might you have with your parents? How can you deal with it? What are you waiting for?


Prayer:
Jesus, thank You for showing us what honoring our parents genuinely looks like. Thank You for Your profound example of obedience to Your Father in all things. Give us the grace to let go of past hurt so that our future may be healed. Teach us the way of extraordinary grace so that our children may be blessed. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.


Author: Blake Houston