Begin with two minutes of stillness and silence before God.

As a pediatric speech-language pathologist, I have spent most of my career working with children from birth to five years old. The bulk of the population that I have worked with has been children with complex disabilities. The first five years of life are such a crucial time in a child’s development, and (for this specific group of children) generally make up the age window in which parents hear their child’s diagnosis for the first time. 

At the very start of my career, I was extremely eager to make a difference and saw things much differently than I do now. 

With the work that I do, it is pretty standard to periodically meet with each family to create new goals or check in with how things are going at home. These meetings open the door for the families to share all of the things that they are struggling with when it comes to their child’s needs. During these types of meetings, we, as therapists, really get an insight into how life really looks on a day-to-day basis for each child. As a new SLP, I worked alongside a team of therapists, as most of our kiddos received all disciplines: speech, occupational, and physical therapy. When the parents began to share their struggles or needs from home, the team would offer support. Often, this support is in the form of suggestions or strategies on how to target each specific need. It wasn’t uncommon for the parents to leave with a laundry list of ideas or new information. 

Sounds like a job well done, right? The therapists are up-to-date on what’s going on at home, and the parents have plenty of new things to work on. At the time, having only been working for a handful of months, I truly believed that the tips and information that I gave were going to be life-changing for these families.  I just knew it. But, do you know what happened at almost every single meeting that took place a few months later? Pretty much nothing. Almost every single one of these families had struggled to implement what I had suggested. They actually seemed to be even more overwhelmed by the thought of it all. 

Being brand new (with no children of my own just yet), this was so confusing to me. I couldn’t understand how these people who were so desperate for help just could NOT do what we suggested. I mean, it was obvious that they so dearly loved their children. 

Then it hit me. It was the last meeting of my day during my second quarter check-ins. I often experienced some tears or emotional moments coming from these parents, but this one hit me differently and, for the first time, I really recognized that these people are parents first. And these parents were walking through journeys that they had never asked for. They were grieving the ease that comes in the absence of these diagnoses. They were watching their children work to overcome things that shouldn’t be so hard for them. They were scared. They were so unsure of what the future would hold. They, at times, felt alone. 

They didn’t need more suggestions. What they needed was love and compassion. 

I’ve been working for over a decade now, and this is one thing that I can say for certain: the families that feel love and support from their therapists as people first are always the ones to become the most invested in what they are asked to do later. They are the ones who feel ready to tackle what’s going on in the day-to-day and apply some of the suggestions that they are given. 

In verses 11-12 of this chapter, we are reminded that words and wise correction are only good when the time is right. Connection and compassion are always the foundation that opens the door for application and the most life-changing moments. 

As Christians, we so often want to give the solution or the right answer. We are quick to draw on our own experiences or offer up some scripture. Maybe we even give a “God’s got this, just pray about it”. While these responses aren’t inherently wrong, they can cause us to overlook the person in front of us. 

Verse 20 states that “singing songs to a troubled heart is like taking off clothing on a cold day or like pouring vinegar on soda.”

People are allowed to hurt. They are even allowed to express anger and overwhelm. They are allowed to be a bit afraid and unsure. It is important to remember that, in these moments, they need to be seen and heard. They don’t need another solution, they just need connection. They need to see that you really care. They need you to speak prayers over their lives. They need you to just stop and be present with them. 

So, may we slow down, listen closely, and lead with compassion. Because more often than not, it’s our presence,  not our answers, that brings the healing people truly need.

Take two minutes to reflect in silence.

Reflection:

Use the S.O.A.P. Method to study God’s Word.

• SCRIPTURE: What stands out to you in today’s passage?
• OBSERVATION: What is this text saying? What is the context? How does it fit with the verses before and after it? Are there any commands, instructions, or promises? 
• APPLICATION: How can you apply this verse to your life? What does this mean today? What is God saying to you? 
• PRAYER: Respond to the passage in prayer. Ask God to help you apply this truth to your life and spend some time listening to what He may be telling you.